I think I’ve said it a thousand times but Rachel Bilson needs more work. She’s quite possibly the cutest girl in Hollywood and the last thing I saw her in was that shitty movie with that Star Wars guy teleporting on top of pyramids. Why the f-ck would you make a movie about someone that teleports on top of pyramids anyways? If I had that super power I would be jumpering myself into sexy places like the moon or the set of 2 and a Half Men.

I can see it now. They’d be shooting an absolutely hilarious scene about how Charlie Sheen had a girl over and the fat ugly kid would say “Uncle Charlie why are you so try?” Then the other guy would smile with all 136 of his teeth and say “Hey guys I’m really nervous right now, look at me I’m a single dad.” At that exact moment I would appear in the background holding a pen and copy of Major League for Charlie to sign. Then we’d all go out for dinner and Charlie Sheen would adopt me.

*sigh* I guess that’s why we call them dreams.

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